Infinite Juggler

For the most part, I don't realize that having twins is hard.

I don't mean in the daily-stressed-out-stop-fighting-you-two kind of way. That's sort of a given when you have more than one child, whether they are twins or not.

But I am a single mother by choice, raising two children. And more often than not, I have someone "bless my heart" or ask me how I do it or just stare dumbfounded at my choice to do this alone. 

Do I go out of my mind crazy every single day? Yeah, pretty much. But at the same time, I don't feel like my burden is heavy because I have always had two children instead of one. I don't feel as if life would have been easier with one. I can't even imagine what life would be like if there were one.

When they were born, I breastfed them at the same time. I carried them up four flights of stairs at the same time. A few years down the road, I pushed them in separate grocery carts (you try explaining to a three year old why they have to sit in the grocery part while their sibling gets to ride in the seat part) at the same time. I've attended field trips (they've always had different classes/teachers), gone to awards shows, seen plays, watched games, etc., for both of them . . . at the same time. 

I buy school clothes, birthday gifts, happy meals, all of that, times two. And even still, I don't ever think, This would be so much better/less expensive/more fun/more clean if I had one kid. 
 
Every once in a while, one of them will ask me who I love more. How can I answer that? How can I weigh the two pieces of my heart in each hand? I can't. I am, instead, an infinite juggler.

Image from Flickr